我是喜欢她吗？？

我最近很矛盾。。。
我是不是喜欢她了呢？？

刚刚看过她的部落格。。。
她说她的前男友找过她了。。。
她说她还放不下她的前男友。。。
这时我的心竟然痛了起来。。。
这到底是什么感觉？？

唉。。。
我到底怎么了？？？

所爱者，非追也；所追者，非爱也

最近的心情。。。
只能用这几个字来形容。。。
我爱的人，并不是我追求的。。。
另一方面，
我只对她有少许感觉的人，却是我要追求的。。。
我很矛盾。。。

下一届的影帝可能会是我。。。
我的印度戏做得太真了。。。
连我也能骗得了我自己。。。

为什么我会变得这样？
爱她， 又有什么用。。。
她又不懂，而且也不能懂。。。

只对别人有少许感觉就要追求？
我必定是发烧烧坏了脑。。。

她还不懂，永远不懂， 离开是想要被挽留。。。
我不能告诉她。。。

我们的第一次

我们的第一次，就这样奉献了出去。。。
之前从未发生过此事，也许是timing不对，那就更不用说有feeling了。。。
平时虽然很想和她发生， 虽然她也很乐意， 可是每一次，不是她不方便，就是我没时间。。。
终于。。。机会来了。。。

我鼓起勇气地向她要求我们的第一次。。。
地点当然由我来选，毕竟都是我先开口，所以怎样都要有一些男士风度。。。
我向来都喜欢向高难度挑战。。。
第一次，竟然3p也不挑战，却来4p的。。。
会觉得尴尬吗？
还好吧因为大家都认识了那么久，开房罢了应该没什么问题吧。。。
约了今天下午在蕉赖的南部。。。
我先到，我就先要房。。。结果房间竟然满了。。。
他妈的大白天还真多人开房。。。真是吃饱没事做走来开房。。。臭鸟。。。
还好还有其他地方选择。。。
这间果然还有很多房，我和另一个男的先到场，女的却说迟些才到，还叫我们不要心急，先热一热身，因为待会整个下午都是属于我们的了。。。
可是我已等不及了。。。我和他干脆捉着那条状的家伙等待她们的到来。。。
终于她们来了。。。
她们也迫不及待地捉着那家伙，异常的兴奋。。。因为我也知道她们也等这一刻等了蛮久。。。

期间，房间也发出了许多不同的声音，也有不同的发音。。。可是这才表示我们爽啊。。。
偶尔也会换换对手，因为这样可以领教不同的阶段领域啊。。。现在我才知道，高手是肉眼无法辨认的，有时甚至是无法超越对手的。。。有时也很讲究天分，你不行就是不行了，无法逞强，因为你已经赤裸裸地被对手看穿了。。。

我会永远记得我们的第一次。。。

就这样，大战了大概七七四十九轮，从三点到七点，马不停蹄地作战。。。
我知道这样会很累，可是没办法，就是爽啊。。

收拾好心情， 从k房里走了出来。。。唱了一整天的k, 还有够累的。。。

你相信吗？认识了他们超过五年，竟然和他们第一次唱k。。。平时嘛嘛吹水看戏样样做齐， 就是没唱过k。。。当然， 我和努模糊就有过咯。。。
和饼饼过招，简直没得来。。。她的音可以去得很高。。。可是如果再加些技巧和爆发力，那下一届绝对Superstar肯定进到16强。。。不是开玩笑的噢。。。加油噢^^
哟颗粒也不错。。。和她欢乐一番。。。慢着，现在竟然在想念她？我有没有搞错。。。

完事后。。他们竟然抛下我逛夜市去了。。。唉。。。谁叫我待会儿要开工咩。。。真命苦。。。

好了。。是时候读书了。。。我也好好加油了。。晚安^^

害怕失败吗？？

最近觉得压力很大。。。
心情也不怎么好。。。
时常都会乱想一通，觉得这个世界不属于我似的。。。
依然疯颠的我，在朋友面前。。。
依然是废材的我，在朋友面前。。。
依然废话多多的我，在朋友面前。。。

在自己面前，我依然还是我。。。
面对失败的我，我依然还是我。。。
害怕失败的自己，害怕有天看见自己失败。。。
我又怎么了？
难道失败真的那么可怕？？
平时信心满满的我在哪里呢？？
唉。。。
害怕失败，就好像在原地踏步， 永远进步不了。。。
我讲是会讲。。。平时我也是这样劝服我的朋友不要放弃。。。
可是。。用在我身上好像没什么感觉。。。

原本今晚想要找朋友出来聊一聊天。。。放松一下。。。
可是。。。全部不是去了看电影，就是不得空。。。
顿时晴天霹雳。。。好像一个两个都'夹卖'离开我。。。
也许是最近压力大所以容易心情低落。。。
也比较容易钻牛角尖。。。
糖水之旅去不到。。因为太远了。。。对不起。。。
还好振宇拨个电来邀我出来。。。
看了场电影。。。
可是感觉依然平淡，
可是有少许改善。。。
起码我并不孤单。。。

对噢， 我也害怕孤独。。。
说真的。。。好想哭一哭。。。
没见过我哭吗？？
我也想见识一下。。。

The scratches are too deep....

Not to introduce my new phone here...
Im here to reporting the injury status of my Sony Ericsson K750i...


Date:15 march 2008
Time: 2.20pm
Location: Taman Connaught, nearby Ahmad Maideen


When i am getting out of my car, i realize that something is dropping out from my pocket, and after i was totally step out from my car, i realize that my phone was dropped. When my left foot is about step on the floor after getting out of my car, i realize that i am stepping on my phone le...
GOD DAMN IT!!!!!
den i quickly pick up my phone and take a look....OMFG....It hurt really bad...
the screen are full of scratches..not normal scratches, these are really 'deep'.....


Before:


After:

I finally understand that..It is better to put on a case to protect it...althought it is a little bit sissy..But, for ur phone good...

Nothing more to write, will send 'him' to service next week, make him alive once more...

What should i do???

Since dunno when i've abandon this blog for a little while...
Sorry lor i also dun want de...Really quite busy for this few weeks...
After CNY, my life back to normal...went to uni, and come back home, den do assignment, preparing for test...hz...
Hate this type of life le...but dunno y i hope to preceed to year 2, because the syllabus for year 2 sounds more interesting...
Of course i din hope to failed again le...
But the math is so fucking hard..Knn...
Left only about 5 weeks to my final exam le...
Very scare now...hz...
Scare will failed again..
Engineering course is like this de...
Sometime i really want to study BA that type of course because they are more emphesize on strategies and planning application...
Sometime i think back y i will choose Civil Engineering as my profession, now here is the answer: because i love Highways...

Last saturday is National Election day....Unexpected, DAP almost defeated all MCA and GERAKAN candidates...thats why, Penang is under control by DAP now...
How about Selangor state, DAP still win alot..My area is under Balakong was also occupied by DAP now..
My old area Cheras is the dynasty of DAP so very hard to attacked by other party, but Dr.Jefferey is still the hero of Cheras...Dato' Tan Chai Ho from Bandar Tun Razak was defeated by Khalid from keADILan..hz...
This time de election, BN lose until hai like that...i support BN but i just support MCA, because MCA is represent our chinese...this time BN lose until like that, i think central government also should think some solution to overcome it de...

Now back to my uni life...
Sometimes quite happy with my classmate if there are any activity planned by us...
From the beginning of semester there are plenty plans has been carried out, but only some of them could run smoothly...
Those successful plans are: Bak Kut Teh, Sunway pyramid, Dai chao, Peter birthday, and Mei mei birthday..

Recently, I have a fren who suffering in love...The girl dun want reply his message and answer his call...Den make him no mood in study...My fren are use to very geng in study...but now, according his situation, none of his classmate believe that he know nothing about the subject...
Hope he can recover faster from that lor...
This is the power of love...

But y this type power doesnt imply on me de?

I still have a gal fren which i met her back recently de....
I knew her quite a long time ago liao de...
But after graduate from secondary school, we seldom meet with each other le...
Then 2 months ago, i accidently met her inside the lrt, that time i was so surprise to met her back under this situation...But she aledi have bf at that time...so got abit disapointed lor..
Recently, she broke off with her bf because of some unknown reason...
Hz..sometime see her sad and down i also cant do anything...
Sometime i wanted to call her, but dunno why my courage doesn't allow me to do so...
I seems like dun have the confidence to facing 'love' again le...what happened to me??
I shouldn't deny it, i really got feeling to her....
I just dun want her sad, and simply think...
Hz...
But sometime i also will simply think de...
Simply think that she will sad and simply think...

Ok...i should back to study now...Dunno y today i got no mood to go anywhere..

Oh ya, tomorrow, 13 March is my buddy's birthday, Happy Birthday to u Hon Loong...
and 1 more person is Stephanie, Happy Birthday oh, Long time din chat with u le...

Take good care, Muackzzz...

Please vote for me....

While im viewing my old photos, suddenly i saw these few photos...

These photos are taken around 1 years ago while im giving a speech for an event that organize by me, Silent Night...what a memorable event...

"Saya sangat gembira kerana dapat bersaing dalam daerah ini sebagai Calon BN"

"Saya amat beryakin bahawa saya akan menyinkirkan Rocket keluar dari kawasan ini!!!"

"Undilah saya sebagai calon BN!!! Saya berjanji tidak akan membina jalanraya yang akan 'crack' seperti MRR2"

"Terima Kasih atas sokongan anda, Saya cinta padamu~~Sekian.."

p/s: not very free to update my blog....will be update very soon....soli ya...