The Police Story

When i was kecil miao that time, i love to watch Jackie chan movie especially police story series... I very admire police at that time because of Jackie Chan's heroic act in that movie...
That movie are based on Hong Kong police, they caatch BAD guys...

But in Malaysia, those police are totally different...
WAt so different? They always very thristy wanna drink kopi...and always catch those good guys and want those good guys to treat them kopi...If u add sugar in their kopi, when u leave that time they will wave their hand and say 'TATA' to u 1....high efficiency...

Today, im so lucky because those police very thirsty...In order to quench their thirst, they set up a road block at the border between Taman Taynton and Taman Connaught there...

After me, numoh and leelee having some 'blowing' session at Tan cha wu, Ti Shen call us up and said meet up at maideen for next round, oklo we went there for next round...

Here is the police story begin....
Around 12.15am, when we are on the way to Taman Connaught, we need to go through Taman Taynton there. As usual im driving my Nissan Sunny, and i could see some blue light flashing very far in front, so i know there is a road block in front. Everytime, when having road block that time i also very save 1 because my car have Road tax and the 'P' sticker, my inspiration told me i sure wont kena 1. So i no fuck lo just head toward to the road block and let them check lar, also nothing 1...


When i reach to the block, the police check my road tax and everything, i thought i was save and i ready to move on d. Suddenly, the police ask me...

Police A: U punyer number plate ada berapa nombor ah?

Den i think: Shit lor....(my fornt de number plate spoil long time ago. It should be "4394" but the "4" behind dunno go where liao...)

ME: Nanti dulu ah... "Empat", "tiga", "sembilan"...

Police A: Yakah? Tiga nombor?
(Den he go behind my car and check...)

ME: eh tuan... ada satu lagi "empat" di belakang...

Police A: U punyer number plate ada problem la... u belok ke kiri di depan...

ME: Yakah? saya tak tau la...haiyor...(act innocent)

(This time diu lorr....those sohai want to eat my money...)
After i 'belok ke kiri', got 2 sohais' come after me...

Police B: Mari tunjuk lesen....

(Ok lor i give him den i get out from the car)

Police B: eh u tau u punyer number plate sudah pecah ah? Macam ini tak boleh la...

ME: Haiyo saya pun tak tau la...(act innocent) saya pandu saja saya pun tak de tengok sama ada number plate sudah picah lar...

Police B: Macam ni tak boleh lar...U tau mau saman Rm 150 tau tak?

Police C: Mari tunjuk IC...
(ok i give him my ic too)

ME: Haiyo saya memang tak tau lar(act innocent)....So sekarang mau macam mana?

Police B: (He act dunno) Ini kereta siapa?

ME: Ini kereta bapa saya lar... saya pun tak tau itu sudah picah lar saya pandu saje...

Police B: U baru dapat lesen ah? tengok lesen ada expired tak...

ME: Sampai MAC 2008 lar...eh saya sudah pandu lebih kurang dua tahun lor....


Since this car is not mine, and he also dun want ask money from me directly, so he dun want direct saman me...But he insist of wanted to find my 'pain leg'...
So......


Police C: Eh u punyer telipon ada *kongket punyer video ah? Mari tunjuk u punyer telipon....
(*For ur info, KONGKET means FUCK)

Den i think: Diu lorr...that day numoh send 1 to me but i forgot 2 delete...
But den no fuck lo just staright away show him my phone...

ME: U tengok sama ada atau tak de lar (But actually there is 1 but in chinese title...)


That sohai keep on searching, but there is too many video in my phone. Suddenly, he saw a video which the title is "the 3 sucker". I think he is too sensitive to the word FUCK when he saw the word "sUCKer", so he think this video sure is kongket 1...When he open, he really saw the 3 sucker, which is me, ck and stanley jumping to the box like sucker....."==...So he skip to the next video and that is Rain's MV...Den he skip 1 more which is NEGARAKUKU mv...den i think: diu lor, will he makan me coz of this mv? But den he so stupid he skip again...
Den, His partner started to say something....


Police C: (To Police B) Kalau ada kongket punyer dia masih berani beri kau check ke?

Police B: Ya lar kalau ada u masih berani tunjuk saya ke? nah ambil balik...

ME: Ya lar saya budak baik lar kalau ada saye masih berani bagi ke?(But actually i DARE him)...(I ask again) So sekarang u mau macam mana?

Police B: (He act like dunno again)Mari buka drawer kasi saye tengok...

(I opened the drawer, but nothing inside...just have a candy and a key inside.)

Police B: Eh kotak itu(candy) apa? pil ah?

ME: Itu gula-gula lar u mau ah?

Police C: Mari kasi buka 'boot' tengok...

(Den i open my car 'boot', he saw a big packet of thing.)

Police B: Eh apa ni?

ME: Ini ialah target lar...saya jurulatih Taekwondo lar....ini lah untuk berlatih Taekwondo lar...

Police C: Oh u Jurulatih ah...(His way talking to me suddenly change 180 degree)

Police B: Oh benda ni guna untuk berlatih ah...boleh saya ambil 1?

ME: U mau u ambil lar...(boh song)

Police B: Tak de la gurau saje..(He put back the thing)

(Another sohai saw there is a jumper wire in my boot)

Police C: Eh u mau buat apa dengan ni? curi kereta ah?

ME: U tengok saya punyer kereta sudah lama pun tau lar. kalau rosak tepi jalan macam mana? guna benda ni lar...

(I close the boot)

ME: So sekarang u mau macam mana??

Police B:(Still act dunno)Eh u dalam IC sangat gemuk ah..sekarang sudah kurus.. U ada ambil(drugs)ah?

ME: Saya sudah kurus tak boler ke? U mau macam mana sekarang?

Police C: Sudah lewat masih mau pergi mana ni?

ME: pergi minum teh dengan kawan lar...

Police B: Dengan lelaki atau perempuan?

ME: Lelaki perempuan pun ada lar....

Police B: Oh ada perempuan...macam in boleh kongket la...

ME: ..............(I dunno wat can i say d)

Police B: Ok lar...saya sembang dengan u saje... u pergi la...
(ACtually is he cant find anything wrong on me so he cant eat my money, den he release me go..)

So i no fuck him..i take back my ic and driving license and i just go....
After i reach maideen, i told the whole story again and they all laugh like hell...
WAakaka^^^^
They all laugh because the police always Kongket here kongket there...
REally sohai=="


In conclusion:
1) They are very thirsty( like wat Namewee said)
2) Malaysia police very like to kongket...which mean If u go out with girls means wanna kongket with her...Yes!!!
3) They like to ask rubbish because they wanna eat ur money..
4) They will act like dunno if u ask "Sekarang mau macam mana"
5) Their wife should be very happy bacause they like to kongket...
6) 最讽刺的是, 他们每个人身上都挂着一个"Saya Anti Rasuah"的牌....

Sekarang mau macam mana??
Inilah PDRM....
这是国家"黄"家警察....
haiz...